“I’m winning my entire Fantasy Football league btw”

“What??? That’s amazing and hysterical lol”

This is the text conversation I had with my mom after I realized that I had the most points out of the entire SSTFFB league after the first week of games. I’m beating the person in second place by more than 20 points (@Ari Brown).

If any of you have read anything Margaret has written, you know that she knows her stuff. She knows SO MUCH STUFF. Knowing this and going into the first week against her, I thought my season would be over right then and there. Then I get a notification that I beat her 127-85.

How did this happen? I honestly couldn’t tell you. I actually named my draft for this article “SSTFFB how tf am I winning.”

To give this epic (most likely short-lived) victory some more context, you should know that I have a very, VERY basic understanding of football. My brother played flag football throughout elementary school, tackle in middle school and a year of high school football, only to switch to volleyball his sophomore year. Even after all of those years of watching him play I never really could wrap my mind around how football actually works.

My football knowledge goes as follows:

  • The Bears will always be my favorite team despite all of Jay Cutler’s best efforts to deter me.
  • The Bears will always be my favorite team so that my Nana doesn’t disown me.
  • The quarterback is supposed to be someone everyone loves, but as a Bears fan I have never really known what this means.
  • Kickers are great until they get unexpectedly traded right before Fantasy season starts (RIP Robbie Gould).
  • A touchdown is six points, a kick is one point, and if the team’s feeling risky they’ll unsuccessfully try to run it for an extra two points.

 

I sound like someone who would be in first place for Fantasy, right?

Nope, I didn’t think so either.

So here I am, in first place with 127 points after the first week and a draft that consisted of my brother talking to me over the phone trying to calm me down and talking to me like a kindergarten teacher trying to explain to little Johnny that if she takes two apples from his basket of ten apples he’ll only have eight left.

My brother decided to hang up on me after the first five rounds, leaving me to pick from players I’d never heard of before. This left me with no choice but to recruit my roommate to help me make the next eleven picks for my team… What else is a roommate for?

“Hey Caroline, does T. Coleman or P. Dorsett sound like they’d be better at football?”

“Ooooooh, Coleman sounds like a strong name, he’ll probably be good. Add him!”

Again, here I am, somehow in first place.

Don’t get me wrong, I love watching, reading and writing about sports and there’s a reason I write for SST. I’m just more of a hockey person who decided to walk in a football player’s cleats for a while.

My hope is that those of you who feel like you don’t know enough about sports to talk to your peers, friends or even family about different sports or games can think of instances like this and have the confidence to do more with sports. I’m still figuring out how to trade players or drop them and change my lineup (the app is not too user-friendly), but I’m learning as I go.

Who would I suggest dropping or trading? Robbie Gould or any player to whom you have any loyalty. Do that ASAP. I put my faith in my hometown team and once again they let me down and broke my heart all at once. Never draft any Bears unless you like disappointment and sadness—you’ve been warned.

Will I still be in first place next week? Probably not, but I’m going to ride this victory out until I end up pulling my hair out when half of my roster eventually gets injured.

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